Life can be super busy. Even in our marriage. Finding that you and your significant other are on different pages? Here is how you can reconnect with your spouse!
Why Do You Have To Reconnect With Your Spouse
Sometimes being married and living together. You tend to get a cycle where you begin to live as roommates and put your relationship on the back board.
Reconnecting with your spouse can help you with increasing intimacy, building a stronger emotional connection, and clarity that your marriage is on the right path.
This is especially great for couples who have children. Raising children you can get yourself stuck in a repetitive routine and forget that your marriage comes first.
Down below you will find 11 ways on how you can reconnect with your spouse in your marriage.
Simple Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse
1. Communication
If you’re feeling disconnected from your spouse, you have every right to discuss this problem with them. They’re your partner after all!
Communicating how you feel should be the number 1 thing you should do before you begin the processes of reconnecting with each other.
Tell your partner how you have been feeling these days. Remember to also hear your spouse’s side of the story.
They could have been stressed out from work, finances, the kids, or just overall their mental health has taken a toll on them.
You can schedule out a time once a week to talk to each other (phone-free).
Both my husband and I do this. Having a distraction free time really helps us to emotionally check in with each other.
2. Remember To Keep Dating
When was the last time you went out on a date with your spouse? If you have to think really hard then it’s time to start planning one, together!
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you stop dating. Remember this is how your marriage started, by dating.
You can both quickly sit down with each other and plan a date night that you’ll both enjoy. Even if its a coffee date, or even going bowling. Remember it’s a time for you both to reconnect.
finding it hard to come up with date ideas for the winter months? Here is a list of some great winter date ideas that both you and your spouse can enjoy.
3. Walk Down Memory Lane
Remember the first date you both been on? Or where you were proposed? What about a place that made you realize they were the one?
Another way you can reconnect with your spouse is by walking down memory lane. Relive the fun memories.
This could help you remember why you love this person and also rekindle a spark in your marriage.
You can do this by looking at photos, going to the location where you first met, or the location of your first date.
You can both talk about how you felt in the moment, and appreciate how far your relationship has gone.
4. Take Out The Distractions
While you’re reconnecting with your significant other, you’ll both need some time. This is where you need to limit and/or remove the distractions.
This could be having a baby sitter for the kids, putting your phone on silent.
Video games can wait, social media will continue on. Take this time out to focus on your marriage.
Taking out the distractions shows your partner that you’re ready for their undivided attention and you’re showing that you are listening.
5. Build Healthy Boundaries
Even though you live together, boundaries needs to be kept. This could be giving each other their own personal space to destress, listening to your partners needs, and showing respect.
Sometimes we can be so involved with each other, that we forget to continue keeping healthy boundaries with each other.
By not creating healthy boundaries in your marriage, it can affect the connection you have with each other.
Remember that at the of the day, you’re both individuals guiding your way through life. You both CHOSE to be together to tackle life together.
If your partner needs a minute when they come home or needs a venting session without judgement, let them have it.
6. Show Love and Support
Sometimes we can go through a time in our relationship where we lack on showing love and support. We assume that our partners know, although it’s nice to hear it.
If you notice they are going for a promotion, instead of adding on additional worries to their plate, be that ray of sunshine and show them the support they need.
If your partner wants to start a new hobby/career, support them. Even if it sounds crazy, they just want to know and hear that the support is there.
7. Show Gratitude
Saying thank you can go a long way for people. Showing graditude can help your partner and yourself to be encourage to show up more.
For instance, let’s say you told your husband out loud that you wanted to put a load of laundry in the washer.
Instead your husband decided to put the load of laundry in for you. This is where you show gratitude. Even though it’s something so simple, they’ll feel appreciated.
Rather than just saying, “Thank you.” Say what you’re thankful for. Such as “Thank you for packing away the dishes,” Or “Thank you for reminding me about the dinner reservation we have tomorrow.”
Showing gratitude will go a long way.
8. Do Something You’ll Enjoy Together
Is there something both you and your spouse enjoy doing? This could be trying out different restaurants, video games, or even reading.
Another way you can reconnect with your spouse is by doing something you both enjoy doing together. For example my husband and I love watching marvel movies and the learning about the MCU storyline.
So one thing we do together is watch all marvel movies and shows together. In addition we like to compare how the marvel movies are to the comics.
Find something that you both enjoy doing together, and keep it between the both of you. It’ll make it extra special.
9. Try Not To Be Right All The Time
This is something that both my husband and I have a very hard time with (I truly blame the Aries side of us).
Limit the amount of always wanting to be right. Yes I agree we want to be heard but sometimes it’s best to agree to disagree.
I remember being told a long time ago that whenever you have a problem with your partner, it’s not you versus them, it’s us versus the problem.
Together you BOTH are solving the problem. 99% of the problem is a lack of communication or just misunderstanding.
Is it worth it to always be right in a argument?
10. Attend To Each Other’s Love Language
Each person has either 1 or more love language. The five love languages are; physical, gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service.
this is honestly the greatest thing to learn about your partner because it’ll help you so much on how to make sure your partner feels love from you within their love language.
Not sure what your love language is? Here is a quick love language quiz both you and your spouse can do together.
One night my husband and I sat down and filled out the quiz. We learned so much about ourselves and each other.
11. Make Your Relationship A Priority
Remember to make your relationship a priority. your in-laws can wait, your friends can wait, your kids can wait, that one work email can wait.
If you have children, please try to make your relationship first. Children thrive in a happy home where they see both parents are happy together.
If you need to plan a romantic getaway with each other to reset, go right ahead! Remember that you vowed to honor and love them.
Overall…
Reconnecting with your spouse takes time. This will not happen it just one day or a week. Remember you have to show up, even on the days that you don’t want to.
If you need help, look into marriage counselling. No shame in that at all, they’ll help you develop strategies and probably will see things that you didn’t see before.
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