Last Updated on March 10, 2023 by Corynn
Wondering if your relationship is coming to an end? Here are 11 signs that your relationship is not working.
Disclosure: This post is based on my personal experience. If you are looking for professional help, I highly suggest talking to a professional expert.
We all have different relationships. Some relationships work and some relationships may have to come to an end.
If you are in a relationship and have some doubts, I am here to share with you some signs that may indicate your relationship is coming to an end.
This blog post is about signs that your relationship is not working.
How To Tell If a Relationship is Not Working?
Every couple has a speed bump in their relationship, even in my own! Everybody will have a few arguments here and there.
You put so much work and effort into a relationship that it can hurt a lot knowing that it’s coming to an end.
Here are 11 signs that your relationship is not working.
1) Fighting
In every single relationship, couples fight. It could be something as simple as a pencil.
Having arguments is a way to learn about each other, create a stronger bond, and show that you care about each other.
Although if you notice you and your partner are fighting a lot more than usual. This could be a sign that the relationship is not working.
Although if you notice you and your partner never fight, that can also be a huge concern.
This could mean the following; you’re both not comfortable around each other, tend to brush problems under the rug, or you are scared to hurt the relationship.
In reality, not having arguments can also lead to you and your partner have a large fight, and potentially ending the relationship.
2) Lack of Trust
Notice you are checking your partner’s phone a lot? Or do you catch your partner doing the same?
Do you also notice that anytime they tell you where they are going, you get a doubt feeling in your gut?
This could be a sign that you lack trust in the relationship. Not having trust in your partner can show that your relationship is not working.
I totally get it. Building trust with someone takes time, even with myself. You want to make sure the person you are with, is a person you can trust dearly.
If you both have been together for a while (6 months and more) and notice a lack of trust. This could be a sign that your relationship is coming to an end.
3) Lack of Intimacy
Another sign that a relationship is not working is the lack of intimacy in the relationship.
Have you noticed in the beginning you both couldn’t let go of each other, and now you hardly get intimate?
Before we jump into the “let’s break up” ship, let’s look over some factors:
Stress – stress can play a major role in getting intimate. If you or your partner are stressed, then that could affect the reason you haven’t been intimate.
Mental Health – yes our mental health does play a role in our libido.
Tired – have a busy schedule? Sometimes your body is just tired!
Medication – Did you or your partner start a new medication? Sometimes medication can affect your libido. If you notice this is happening, then I highly suggest talking to your doctor.
All couples go through a phase where getting intimate is the last thing on their mind.
Although if you notice that it has been weeks since you both have been intimate and it’s not any of the factors I have listed?
This could mean that you’re both drifting apart.
4) Not Spending Time Together
When you first started dating, you want to spend every waking time together, especially during the honeymoon phase. You go on so many dates, watch movies together, cuddle, all that stuff.
After the honeymoon phase, spending time together may decrease but you still want to spend some quality time together.
How do you know when the lack of seeing each other is concerning?
For instance, you’ll begin to notice either your partner or yourself will come up with excuses on why you can’t hang out.
Or you’ll lie that you are home when in reality you’re out with a group of friends.
Yes, you need to be your own individual in a relationship but if you notice you begin to dread hanging out with your partner. Then this shows the relationship is not working.
5) Your Needs Are Not Met
Each person has one or more love languages that they express and want to receive.
Some people’s love language could be; physical touch, quality time, an act of service, gifts, and words of affirmation.
For example, my love language is an act of service, and my fiance’s love language is physical touch.
I notice that if our love language isn’t met then our relationship can become tense and non-necessary arguments tend to happen.
Want to know how to fix this? Communicate! Talk to your partner about how your needs are not being met.
If your partner shows change and begins to meet your needs, then it was all a miscommunication.
If they continue to not meet your needs then this could lead to the relationship not working between the both of you.
6) You Started Getting Tempted
This has to be a major sign when a relationship is not working. Being faithful is the most important thing you can do in a relationship.
If you start to feel tempted to reach out to other people, reopen your dating apps, or if you go out to the bar with friends you begin to flirt with strangers?
I can honestly say that you have lost interest in your relationship. Remember this happens to everyone where you lose interest in someone but the important thing you can do is talk to your partner.
Your partner will understand you losing interest versus cheating. It never ends well with cheating in a relationship.
7) Not Seeing Eye to Eye
Sometimes you and your partner will not see eye to eye. It happens! For example, my fiance and I tend to not see eye to eye on our apartment decor but that happens.
As long as you have an understanding that you won’t have the same opinions.
When does not seeing eye to eye become a concern? Well, this could be a concern when you notice that EVERYTHING you both decide you hardly ever see eye to eye.
Not seeing eye to eye 90% of your relationship can lead to your relationship ending sooner rather than later.
8) Getting More Irritated Than Usual
For myself, I tend to use this as an indication of the relationship is not working.
In past relationships, if I notice that every single thing they do is starting to annoy me? Then I know we weren’t meant to be together.
Yes, our partners will annoy us, it’s super common in any relationship.
But if you truly enjoy being with this person, their annoyance will not bother you that much.
If you begin to notice that you get irritated from something they usually do all the time.
I believe it’s time to reflect on whether the relationship is for you.
9) Haven’t Discuss The Future
If you have been in a relationship for less than a year I wouldn’t worry about this too much.
If you have been dating for over a year then this could be another major sign the relationship is not working.
Talking about the future of your relationship can be quite nerve-racking but necessary. This shows if your life goals correlate with each other.
RELATED POST: Questions to ask your partner
Notice you and your partner are avoiding the future talk? That means either A) you’re unsure what the future holds or B) you’re unsure if your future has them in it.
Trust me on that one, getting the future talk done and out of the way will lift that heavy weight on your shoulders.
10) Wanting To Spend More Time Alone
This one relates a little with sign #4. People tend to realize their relationship is not working anymore when they begin to enjoy their alone time better than spending time together.
You begin to avoid their phone calls and text messages. You feel more at peace by yourself rather than together.
Once you realize you would rather stay home alone than go on a date with your partner, then it’s time to end the relationship.
11) You Just Know!
We all have that feeling in our hearts when a relationship isn’t working out. Based on reading all the signs in this article you already made up your mind if the relationship just needs work or it’s time to end it.
“What happens if I’m in love but the relationship is not working?”
This happens a lot. You worked so hard in a relationship. Now that everything you have done it’s not working. It can hurt a lot, trust me.
But dating is all about finding that person you are most compatible with. You want to be with someone you truly enjoy being with.
Yes, you can be in love with this person but do they make you truly happy? Are you in love but stressed out a lot?
A relationship should be 50-50, if you feel like you’re putting in most of the work, then it’s time to let go.
Remember there are many others out there who truly want to meet your needs!
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